When I was a kid, I always wanted to have a family with kids and a great guy that loved me. I wanted to have a relationship like my parents who are now going on 28 years together, however, finding a boy wasn’t easy for me. I found my very first boyfriend my freshman year of high school at a cemetery, and we were together for over five years before we broke up.

It’s been a year since our breakup, and I really wanted to get back into the dating scene, but being at an all girls’ college doesn’t really help. So, I looked at my options and decided to give online dating a try.

One of my friends suggested www.datehookup.com. I also tried www.meetme.com, www.okcupid.com and www.zoosk.com. I personally liked www.datehookup.com because there are some guys who actually want a relationship. It is also completely free, you can create your own username without giving your real name and you decide what information you want to give out. The other sites have similar qualities, but I had some problems them. I did okay with Meetme, but the people on there were not serious enough for me. With Zoosk.com and Okcupid.com, I didn’t get much conversation. Plus in order to get some features on zoosk.com, you have to pay for a membership.

However, with online dating, there are some risks. You never know who the person truly is. They could be some impersonator, and you never know unless you meet. I never feel comfortable with this, so I set up a system for myself on getting to know the real guy before even meeting. I have 9 simple steps that have helped me along the way.

1. I never send a message to a person even if they are cute. I will post statuses that fit my style like “I like to ride quads” or “my favorite sport is football.” Whatever you think will get them to message you first, but always stay honest and only post what you are comfortable with.
2. Guys usually have the girls do most of the talking, but if they don’t contribute to the conversation and make it worth my time then I say goodbye in a polite way.
3. I am the ultimate investigator. If they have photos of themselves on their profile, I go ahead and look through them and make sure they stay consistent with themselves and in different environments. If they have only one photo, that is fine, but I mark that as a red flag until they send me a different and appropriate picture. I snoop through their profiles as well to see what kind of person they are. That also helps with conversation.
4. Every person I talk to I put them as friends. I do not have inappropriate conversations or anything I am not comfortable with. Sure I may flirt, but only after we have talked for a couple of days and I feel comfortable with them. I keep most of the conversation friendly, but if the conversation gets uncomfortable or out of hand, I say a polite goodbye.
5. If they ask for photos of me, I send out photos that I am comfortable with them having. If they ask for my name, I only give my first name and never my last name. Always remember that once it’s on the Internet, it’s on there for good.
6. If the conversation continues and is comfortable, and I feel like there is a potential, I will give them my KIK name so we can talk more. KIK is a messaging app for smartphones that allows you to text without giving out your phone number. I never give my phone number out until we meet.
7. I will ask for different photos of them that are appropriate and it’s very important that they send a photo of them in a different environment.
8. Before we even meet, I ask if they have Skype. If they do, I like to set up a Skype date first. This is the best opportunity to actually see who they really are before meeting face to face. If they don’t, then I can do a polite goodbye if I don’t feel comfortable. But if I do feel comfortable with them and I feel confident of who they are, then I’ll accept their offer to meet.
9. When the meeting occurs, always choose a public place with lots of people. I also carry pepper spray just in case. My biggest thing about online dating is comfort. If I am not comfortable with something, then I won’t do it and find a way out of it. It’s important to stay honest and keep in mind that whatever you put on the Internet, it will stay on there forever.