Aries (March 21-April 19): Fire is on your side, Aries. I just looked it up on the Internet, so it’s true.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): It’s never too late to join the circus.

Gemini (May 21-June 21): Sometimes you just have to take a step back and remember to breathe. Mostly because Gemini is an air sign, and I would assume breathing is important.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): The grapes you cannot taste are always sour… Yup.

Leo (July 23-August 22): To guarantee success, act as if it were impossible to fail. Unless you’re attempting to fly, then you might want to keep in mind the 100% chance that you will fail.

Virgo (August 23-September 22): This is a really lovely day! Congratulations!

Libra (September 23-October 22): Over every mountain is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley. Don’t listen to Robert Frost; follow this path; it will be better in the end.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Search your own heart with all diligence for out of it flow the issues of life. (Yeah, I don’t get it either.)

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Three can keep a secret if you get rid of two.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Always remember that mistakes are the portals of discovery. How else do you think the Snuggie was invented?

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Knowledge is priceless…unless you have to pay for tuition.

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Get it Pisces. #Zodiackiller #looktothestars #watersign #blubblubblub